Friday, April 17, 2009

Just some thoughts...

By now most of you have come to realize I don't keep quite most the time with things I'm passionate about. I watch the news, I read online reports, and I’m quelled by the amount of death I see plastered everywhere I look. If it’s not someone killing themselves, they’re killing others and getting arrested, or killing others and then finishing themselves off so they can keep from answering for their actions.

Now, the death doesn’t affect my daily life to where I can’t function, but it makes me hate how ridiculous humanity is. I’m a happy person, I’ve come out of a lot of bad circumstances, and I yet to match what others have been thrown through in their lives, yet never have I ever wanted to take out others because of my misery. Yes, I had suicidal thoughts because I was tormented in school, but that wasn’t enough for me to end my life over. Four years of hell. That is all I had to endure and I knew it; then I’d be free. My time came during junior year when my hell became not so bad. Things change, they always do but it’s the question of if you’ll have the strength and patience to withstand the struggles.

I’ve never been a religious person. I prayed to God to help me or take me off this world. Either way I wanted to be happy. In my mind that came in only two possibilities: allow me death, or allow me change. I couldn’t handle taking my own life; I didn’t want to hurt my family, and I was too weak to try it. Looking back on those times I realized I wasn’t weak for not being able to complete the task, but that I had a strong desire to live, learn and teach. I wanted to be able to make a difference in someone’s life and how could I do that from the other side? When it came to God’s hand in the matter, I never even believed him to be there. I felt as if the only strength I had to believe in was my own. So, because of only believing in myself I tried to muster every ounce of strength to overcome my pains. After all we always tell each other to look inside your self and face your demons before you can take on others. A strong core allows for a strong person, which thus presents a strong relation with this planet. Standing there in front of my mirror I became that person, although I went through even more hell after high school which I had to handle. The obstacles after high school proved almost more daunting then what the bullies had tossed at me in school. But, I made it. Through thick and thin, through torture and torment, and through blood, sweat and tears I made it by believing in myself when no one else would.

The moral or point of this writing you may ask? Easily said and done. Recently there’s been a harsh abundance of news on kids committing suicide because they’ve been bullied about being gay, nerdy, overweight, or sent naked pictures of themselves that got out. The sad reality is that there’s not enough help or outlets for these kids to speak to people, to learn it will get better, and to learn they have to believe in themselves and deny the hatred to pierce their hearts. What kids need to learn is that there will always be consequences, and with the ever growing nature of our technology you’re becoming more and more ‘naked’ in a sense to the world. It’s not just your town, city, county, state, or country… it’s the entire world that you’re becoming exposed to. You can go online to and become familiarized with a little baby that bites his brother’s finger, an overweight guy dancing to a popular dance song, or anything else you can dream of. Don’t forget “Leave Brittany Alone!” Internet popularity, nudity, and exposure… it’s our growing cultural highlight and it comes at costs. So, it’s the parents, teachers, students, and overall adult’s responsibility to learn that you’re in a glass house with no stability if you toss a rock around and break something. Consequences; teach each other the dos and don’ts. Also, teach forgiveness, acceptance, and tolerance. If we are to succeed as a species we must learn to live together, and work with one another to create a solid foundation. We like to point fingers, and it only get eyes poked out, children dead at our feet, and the collapse of our civilization.

If one person does a good deed, that deed spreads throughout the world. Imagine if everyone did something good for someone else. Believe me; I’m all about helping out myself and people I know with things but I will stop and help a stranger too if need be. Even a smile, hug, handshake, or conversation can change the direction of someone’s life. So let’s use it to breed a different race; not this bigoted one where people can’t be whom they are because they’re afraid of persecution. Also, if you believe in the word of God you need to think of some things. God is a forgiving God… it’s in your bible so look to the person next to you to find the text if you can’t. Now, open you eyes and read. While you read open your mind and allow positivity in humanity to flow in like when Jesus saved us all. If you don’t believe in homosexuals then ask yourself… why is it deadly animals are allowed to live amongst us? They serve a purpose as does anyone else placed on this Earth. We all serve a purpose and we need to learn how to accept that. There are always people around us that will break a stereotype, or slander if given the chance for a bigot’s eyes to be opened and the mind to be unlocked.


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