Friday, April 17, 2009

Just some thoughts...

By now most of you have come to realize I don't keep quite most the time with things I'm passionate about. I watch the news, I read online reports, and I’m quelled by the amount of death I see plastered everywhere I look. If it’s not someone killing themselves, they’re killing others and getting arrested, or killing others and then finishing themselves off so they can keep from answering for their actions.

Now, the death doesn’t affect my daily life to where I can’t function, but it makes me hate how ridiculous humanity is. I’m a happy person, I’ve come out of a lot of bad circumstances, and I yet to match what others have been thrown through in their lives, yet never have I ever wanted to take out others because of my misery. Yes, I had suicidal thoughts because I was tormented in school, but that wasn’t enough for me to end my life over. Four years of hell. That is all I had to endure and I knew it; then I’d be free. My time came during junior year when my hell became not so bad. Things change, they always do but it’s the question of if you’ll have the strength and patience to withstand the struggles.

I’ve never been a religious person. I prayed to God to help me or take me off this world. Either way I wanted to be happy. In my mind that came in only two possibilities: allow me death, or allow me change. I couldn’t handle taking my own life; I didn’t want to hurt my family, and I was too weak to try it. Looking back on those times I realized I wasn’t weak for not being able to complete the task, but that I had a strong desire to live, learn and teach. I wanted to be able to make a difference in someone’s life and how could I do that from the other side? When it came to God’s hand in the matter, I never even believed him to be there. I felt as if the only strength I had to believe in was my own. So, because of only believing in myself I tried to muster every ounce of strength to overcome my pains. After all we always tell each other to look inside your self and face your demons before you can take on others. A strong core allows for a strong person, which thus presents a strong relation with this planet. Standing there in front of my mirror I became that person, although I went through even more hell after high school which I had to handle. The obstacles after high school proved almost more daunting then what the bullies had tossed at me in school. But, I made it. Through thick and thin, through torture and torment, and through blood, sweat and tears I made it by believing in myself when no one else would.

The moral or point of this writing you may ask? Easily said and done. Recently there’s been a harsh abundance of news on kids committing suicide because they’ve been bullied about being gay, nerdy, overweight, or sent naked pictures of themselves that got out. The sad reality is that there’s not enough help or outlets for these kids to speak to people, to learn it will get better, and to learn they have to believe in themselves and deny the hatred to pierce their hearts. What kids need to learn is that there will always be consequences, and with the ever growing nature of our technology you’re becoming more and more ‘naked’ in a sense to the world. It’s not just your town, city, county, state, or country… it’s the entire world that you’re becoming exposed to. You can go online to and become familiarized with a little baby that bites his brother’s finger, an overweight guy dancing to a popular dance song, or anything else you can dream of. Don’t forget “Leave Brittany Alone!” Internet popularity, nudity, and exposure… it’s our growing cultural highlight and it comes at costs. So, it’s the parents, teachers, students, and overall adult’s responsibility to learn that you’re in a glass house with no stability if you toss a rock around and break something. Consequences; teach each other the dos and don’ts. Also, teach forgiveness, acceptance, and tolerance. If we are to succeed as a species we must learn to live together, and work with one another to create a solid foundation. We like to point fingers, and it only get eyes poked out, children dead at our feet, and the collapse of our civilization.

If one person does a good deed, that deed spreads throughout the world. Imagine if everyone did something good for someone else. Believe me; I’m all about helping out myself and people I know with things but I will stop and help a stranger too if need be. Even a smile, hug, handshake, or conversation can change the direction of someone’s life. So let’s use it to breed a different race; not this bigoted one where people can’t be whom they are because they’re afraid of persecution. Also, if you believe in the word of God you need to think of some things. God is a forgiving God… it’s in your bible so look to the person next to you to find the text if you can’t. Now, open you eyes and read. While you read open your mind and allow positivity in humanity to flow in like when Jesus saved us all. If you don’t believe in homosexuals then ask yourself… why is it deadly animals are allowed to live amongst us? They serve a purpose as does anyone else placed on this Earth. We all serve a purpose and we need to learn how to accept that. There are always people around us that will break a stereotype, or slander if given the chance for a bigot’s eyes to be opened and the mind to be unlocked.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

World Peace... is it possible?

World Peace…

You want it? This is how we can accomplish it.

I’m not going to focus on any certain group, sect, cult, majority, or minority. No this is to all of humanity.

Abolish the hatred spread by religion. If you believe in one God, 10 Gods, the stars, or whatever… great! But here’s the catch. Someone thinks you’re wrong and more than likely wants you dead because of your beliefs. So if we can learn to live with our differences there should be no problems. History however has proved time and time again that the age of humanity is incapable of setting aside these religious differences. The problem is that everyone thinks they’re right, or that the other people are too “weird”. We’re not accepting, and it begins to stem back to an old saying… “Only the strong will survive!” So with that said maybe one religious group needs to go wipe out the existence of all other religions. If people won’t convert they should die. Right? I mean it’s only fair to enable the existence of a loving human race without wars. Basically we’ll have to either kill off all offending religions and make one unified religion, or learn to live together as we are and what we believe. Luckily for us we have plenty of religions to stand behind, and may the strongest win.


People these days have no knowledge of handling their emotions in a civilized manner, nor do they know how to handle stress to where they don't break down internally. I'm reading the news, hearing it on television; everyday some illegitimate human being takes more and more people's lives. If you have a problem handling stress, TALK it out with someone close. Stop holding shit inside because you don't want to "hurt someone's feelings". Would you rather start hating the people more and more each day because you can't figure out how to let stupid shit out and get it off your chest. Do you realize how many murders are caused over this exact same thing?! People can't handle the stress and emotional baggage... everyone's going flipping nuts when this is the PERFECT time to reinvent your life, your habits, your everything! Hell even friendships are being ruined everyday because of some kind of stupid bullshit that people fight over... I know I just told two of them to fuck off and get out of my life... I won't deal with people who constantly put others down, start drama over stupid shit, or who constantly bitch about being depressed and then blame it on others. I've been depressed, I fixed my life, and I'm happier than ever. So wake the fuck up people and stop killing eachother over stupid shit!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My friends are my family...

As the years have gone by I've learned how much friends really mean to me. My existance revolves around the ones I love, protect, and care for as well as their love and care in return. I'm unable to be happy unless I have them around me. When I was single, lonely, depressed, or suicidal they were there for me. I treat those close to me like family; we bicker, fight, and make up. I get told I sound like a dad with a lot of them, and it's for the simple fact that I want to make sure they are ok. I've stood by them in fights, trouble, and sorrow. I've held their burdens on my back, and it's alright with me. I've come to know who I am through them. I hope my friends feel the same way. We all need love. It may not be from our real family or a boyfriend/girlfriend, but we need someone. I'm grateful for all I have and I'll be even more grateful for what I accquire as my years flow on. Sometimes even a stranger can make you smile, think, or want a change in life. Never give up the opportunity to express yourself, share your thoughts, or make new friends. I've through quite a bit, and everyday I learn new things. I keep my arms open and welcoming. We can get mad at eachother but never end a friendship over petty means. Their is always an explanation, or way we can handle things. So grow up, be adults, and talk. It's the best thing you can do.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Ah. Psuedo Vacation!

Psuedo Vacation!? You may ask. For me it was not a vacation of traveling, blowing money I did not have, or hanging out with loads of long time friends. No, for me it was one of personal relaxation at home with my laptop in hand most of the time. Working on my current book with the ever important ideas for marketing, and also working on my new book. I'm in the process of having some of my stories looked at for grammar, clarity, and enjoyment educational purposes. I'm trying to look into a website so I can send more people to learn about me, and hopefully want to purchase my book to learn more. So for me, it was mainly a vacation of personal fulfillment. Ha! I guess I did take a journey on my vacation, one to personal enlightenment.

Alas, I did fib with one thing. I went to Busch Gardens with a handful of friends. I had a blast. That's the most I've really done though, and I had a passport anyways so lay off me.

Now it's time to get back to the daily grind of lifting animals, handling more animals (my co-workers to be exact, I work with all women), and to play some practical jokes! I have to make money somehow since my book is not supporting me by itself, which it'd have 155 lbs of weight to support!

Hopefully, all will go well. We shall see! Chins up, and let the games begin!